The hard thing about hard things is that you never really know if you are in the middle of a hard thing. It is very difficult for you to confirm that by yourself. Only someone else — another person or another you from the future — can confirm that what you are going through is difficult.

There is no litmus test for identifying easy and hard things. You do the best you can to judge your circumstances based on your past experiences but this doesn’t work when you are doing something hard for the first time.

You can ask, why do you need to know if something you’re going through is hard? Wouldn’t you be better off not knowing? I think the answer is “no”. Hard things require more resolve and optimism than a person can normally summon. Hard things require a cool-headed attitude that is difficult to maintain when you are in a crisis. Knowing that you are going through something hard, that extra bit of knowledge, is the difference between giving up and pushing forward.

I often blame myself because something that is supposedly so easy for everyone else is so difficult for me. But as it turns out, it wasn’t easy for others either. I could’ve done more or done better if I hadn’t spent all that time blaming myself.

Thankfully, hard things are often worth it. The extra pain and suffering, the longer wait, are often worth it. If you are going through something difficult, don’t be in denial. Embrace the hardness, face it head-on and go through it calmly.